Top Gear - Series 13

Last Sunday's disturbing 7th episode brought an end to the 13th series of Top Gear.

Was it the budget cuts? Or was it triskaidekaphobia? All Top Gear fans will agree that S13 was definitely one of the least exciting series.

 

Episode 1 started off with a bombshell - a car vs motorbike vs train epic race. Followed by Ferrari FXX posting an incredible time around the track – 1:10.7.

Then there was the massive stunt that was the unveiling of The Stig as some bloke called Michael Schumacher. Review of the Lotus Evora was ok.

Some say he invented the curtain… And that he recently submitted a £20,000 expenses claim for some gravel... for his moat. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

 

Episode 2 was still great with a superb review of the Lamborghini Murciélago LP670-4 SV (same time as an Enzo!) & a drag race against the McLaren SLR 722. 

Followed by a very funny cars-for-17-year-olds. James May's stereo hack was awesome! :D

An epic race - Bugatti Veyron vs McLaren F1, a bit too short to my liking.

Some say that last week, he was found locked in a room tied to a chair with German piano wire… And that this week, MPs turned him down for the job of Speaker. All we know is, that's three things he has in common with Margaret Beckett.

 

Things started to go downhill as from episode 3 with that cheap car challenge where the only funny bit was the dog challenge. Clarkson's review of the Mercedes SL65 AMG BLK was good.

The only highlight was James May's meet up with FaceTube & YouBook celeb, Ken Block in his Subaru Impreza.

Some say that he thinks crisps are animals… And that if he'd done well at Wimbledon once in a while, he might have been able to raise a smile. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

 

Episode 4 was bad with the boring Ford Focus RS vs Renault Megane R26.R. The Porsche Panamera vs letter on Royal Mail race had a predictable outcome.

Jeremy's Mitsubishi Evo vs British army with "live" fire was obviously scripted & looked straight off one of Jeremy's DVDs.

Some say that he's absolutely baffled by urinals... And that on reflection, this was a bad week to launch his debut Single; it's a tribute to Farrah Fawcett. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

 

Episode 5's only positive point was the Jag XFR review. The rear-wheel drive challenge didn't please me because it looked still too pre-arranged, especially the piano crashing the Morris Marina.

Jeremy's Range Rover & greenhouse trailer was outright stupid!

Some say he has 12 GCSEs, all in Domestic Science... And that he's been producing artificial sperm for years, even though we have repeatedly asked him not to. All we know is he's called The Stig.

 

The classic car challenge brought back life to Top Gear, reminiscent of previous great challenges. All the hosts got a perfectly suited co-driver, with James May coping with model Madison Welch.

Episode 6 also had the BMW Z4 & Nissan 370Z review, spiced up by animatronic dinosaurs.

Some say that on Thursdays, he becomes incredibly bulbous… And that recently, pigs in Mexico have started to die of something called Stig flu. All we know is he's highly contagious.

 

Episode 7 started with an uninteresting Vauxhall VXR8 & the Maloo review by Hammond. The car ad challenge was entertaining, with Jeremy Clarkson insisting on adding explosions every time - like Michael Bay. :P

It finally ended with that totally un-Jeremy-Clarkson review of the second best supercar in the series - the Aston Martin V12 Vantage.

Nothing was said about the car. But I confess that it took me by surprise - that was the best piece of cinematography I've seen on Top Gear. The shots of pristine nature were of such beauty that it'll even put National Geographic to shame.

“I just have this horrible, dreadful feeling that what I’m driving here is an ending. Goodnight.”

Some viewers thought that it was the ending of Top Gear... :|

Some say that he cut that man's hair… And that if he compensated a soldier for getting wounded, he wouldn't try to take it all back again. All we know is he's called The Stig.

 

Compared to previous series, SIARPC had more widely-recognised celebs than before - The Stig, Jay Leno, Usain Bolt, Sienna Miller, Stephen Fry. 

But what really annoyed me was that many segments shown on the preview weren't shown in any of the episodes! Audi R8 V10 vs Corvette ZR1.

Airport vehicles!

To sum up, if I had to put Series 13 on the Cool Wall, I suppose it would be somewhere in between cool & uncool.
If you're a new Top Gear fan, do not judge it from S13. I would rather recommend you to watch Series 10 or the Vietnam Special.

Download links for Top Gear S13 + H.264 Webrips + Out takes (Rapidshare)